Dark Places

*PREFACE*: Yes, I know this is a long poem. Anyway, This could be triggering. This poem hints to suicide. However, no I don't plan on actually killing myself, but writing/joking about it keeps me from doing it. SO, please know that I am very stable. Anyway, thanks for reading! Any feedback is welcome.

I'm worn.
I'm tired and exhausted.
I see no way out.

Oh, how I long for the fresh feeling of being renewed,
but oh, how it will never come.
When stress overwhelms and distorts the natural embodiment of a kid;
you realize that this world is not a good place to be.

When the stress feels like it opens all of your wounds of old.
Letting the blood flow, like a rushing river full of current and life.
Draining from the source of your soul.

When the depression and stress makes a cold noose look more comfortable than my bed where i lay awake at night; trying to sleep.

When the best option for pure happiness it to take away happiness itself, and end it all.
I want to know, how to feel happiness just once again.

I want to feel something else besides this Hell that affects me so.

I wish my parents understood. Oh! The irony.
They say that they aren't stupid.
Oh, but how they are ignorant to so much pain and terror that swims around in my head.
The muddy expanse of ugly thoughts of depression and stress that make me the shitty son that i am.
I'm sorry, one day you'll never have to deal with me.