Disappear

I feel like I'm going insane,
My mind's a warzone with only calms before the storms,
The only thing that seems to help is pain,
Luckily for me, pain comes in many forms,

I've thought of death, the one true peace,
But do I really deserve freedom from this torment,
At least the pain I bring to others would cease,
But the pain to myself is the only way I can repent,

Shutting myself away is the only way to go,
As much as it will hurt to fade from those I hold dear,
I know at least they will be happier without me though,
And I'll actually improve their lives instead of ruining it if I disappear,

If I want to end the suffering I cause others there is no other way,
Maybe I'll be good enough to stop hurting people and be in their lives someday.