Run or Leap?

Mildly salty tears travel
down my face
every night
from heartache
From loneliness
and neglect
something I wouldn't expect
from love
or relationship at best
but they stream
wildly
while creating
puffy wet eyes
and there I lay
never saying
goodbye
I often ask myself
"Why?"
Still...
Motionless..
whimpering..
until I'm too tired
then drift into a rest
In slumber
where everything
is okay...
Where troubles fade
It's a death
without commitment
An overdose
would be too final
So I just wait
until I cannot breathe
Until I have the courage
to do it
to take the last step
Do I run or do I leap?
No one knows
when you're sound asleep