hypocrite

her father was a minister
born with a forked tongue,
he lived a double life
one where on the outside
he was charming
outgoing, women adored him,
everyone in the congregation
loved, worshipped him,
looked up to him
not just because
he stood behind a podium,
but because he was "a Man
of God"

she hated church
she was forced to sit
in the front pew
where he could keep his eye
on her
sitting like a lady,
legs together, hands in her lap
her dresses below her knees
a smile on her face,
like everything
was perfect

the congregation
who applauded him
adored the way he lead
them in worship,
gazing at him with
perverse hunger for salvation,
they made her skin crawl

after service
they would hover about
wanting to have his attention
his blessing
to touch his robe,
share a word

he had this gesture
when he'd had enough,
she wasn't even sure if they
picked up on it
but she saw it all the time,
his chin would quiver
just the slightest
and he'd jut it out
at them,
make excuses
why he needed to go
their smiling faces
looking for something,
it was not up to him to give

he would warn her
about them
told her to watch out
for the religious fanatics,
she wasn't sure how she was
supposed to do that
since he married one
whom he cheated on with
so many others,
and he thought she did not know

all high and mighty,
when it came to everyone else
he would bend over backwards
for any one who needed it
gone all day and into
the night if that was what was needed,
he was just following his calling,

she would watch him
when she was little, as he got
ready to help someone else
dressed in black, from head to toe,
except for that white collar
that barely showed
around his neck,
most of it hidden underneath
his collar,
just the right amount of purity
just enough to fool the others,
the black suit, the perfect front
to cover his dark heart,



and she loves him,
because she has too ...