deepundergroundpoetry.com
Blown Away
You stole the colour from my face
With greyness you'd replace
You took the sparkle from my eyes
I now see dark visions of my own demise
You ripped the warmth from my smile
Despite my constant attempts to beguile
You stifled my libido and passion
Showing absolutely no compassion
You strangled the beating of my heart
You snapped and broke my heart apart
Your theft of my very soul
Left a dark, soul shaped hole
You treated me badly, always too rough
You said I could never be good enough
You complained, I never blew you away
With those two shotgun blasts, you finally got your way
With greyness you'd replace
You took the sparkle from my eyes
I now see dark visions of my own demise
You ripped the warmth from my smile
Despite my constant attempts to beguile
You stifled my libido and passion
Showing absolutely no compassion
You strangled the beating of my heart
You snapped and broke my heart apart
Your theft of my very soul
Left a dark, soul shaped hole
You treated me badly, always too rough
You said I could never be good enough
You complained, I never blew you away
With those two shotgun blasts, you finally got your way
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 1
comments 16
reads 667
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Re. Blown Away
28th Apr 2016 1:14pm
Re. Blown Away
27th Apr 2016 00:41am
Re: Re. Blown Away
28th Apr 2016 8:13pm
humour for me has been a defensive mechanism throughout my life - It also comes in useful for an attack :-)
ty for commenting :-)
ty for commenting :-)
Re. Blown Away
27th Apr 2016 1:01am
Re: Re. Blown Away
28th Apr 2016 8:13pm
Re. Blown Away
28th Apr 2016 00:19am
Enjoyed the flow of this poem David but was not expecting the last line...the element of surprise is always good :)
0
Re: Re. Blown Away
28th Apr 2016 8:15pm
lol - always expect the unexpected :-)
you know what I am like already - sometimes a poem like a joke needs a punchline :-)
you know what I am like already - sometimes a poem like a joke needs a punchline :-)
Re. Blown Away
28th Apr 2016 7:47am
Yeah, very well written. A good twist bang at the end of a poem or story is one of my favorite aspects of a good story. You did good on this.
0
Re: Re. Blown Away
28th Apr 2016 8:16pm
Re. Blown Away
29th Apr 2016 00:09am
LOL. It's all sad then hits with a fantastic unexpected ending! Nice and creative.
0
Re: Re. Blown Away
1st May 2016 00:47am
thank you - it's awlays good to get good comments from a poet I admire :-)
Re. Blown Away
2nd May 2016 11:42pm
Twisted! The poem not you lol
Rhyming and humour, what's not to like? *She asked rhetorically*
Rhyming and humour, what's not to like? *She asked rhetorically*
0
Re: Re. Blown Away
3rd May 2016 00:56am
I might be twisted too - the jury is still out :-)
thanks for reading and likeing :-)
thanks for reading and likeing :-)
Re. Blown Away
Yes.. blown away to bits by your writs of wits! couldn't stop giggling for a long while...this one's a true gem, am holding onto it!! Hats off Dave! Loved it!
0
Re: Re. Blown Away
3rd May 2016 00:58am
I like "writs of wits" and I am really glad I made you giggle :-)
thanks for reading :-)
thanks for reading :-)