deepundergroundpoetry.com
The queen analyzing
She had acknowledge failure was owning her heart
The sentiment to fight was deteriorating
An instant understanding of her trusted advice
Collapsing heighth
Who shall she have confidence in
Only her intuition
A crushing of her eyes
Gulping, her hero juice
She was walking through a battle field unblemished
She is now in the middle, unwilling to hide
She has pride, confidence we need
In hopes, it is compelling enough to save her life
Her tired bleeding hand gripping the knife, as she told her crusaders goodnight
The sentiment to fight was deteriorating
An instant understanding of her trusted advice
Collapsing heighth
Who shall she have confidence in
Only her intuition
A crushing of her eyes
Gulping, her hero juice
She was walking through a battle field unblemished
She is now in the middle, unwilling to hide
She has pride, confidence we need
In hopes, it is compelling enough to save her life
Her tired bleeding hand gripping the knife, as she told her crusaders goodnight
Published 18th Apr 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 526
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
19th Apr 2016 9:19am
I dig the cadence, syntax. I feel like there could be more. I like to switch between visual scene descriptors, conversation, direct voice to the reader. Keep it changing. I like the closing passage of the work especially. Namaste. :)
21st Apr 2016 9:47pm
Thank you for the feedback. I will be adding more to this. I'm doing a very sporadic, I guess you'd call it a series, of the "barbaric queen".
