Your seven day forecast   (a collaboration of shaman & gg)

In brief: 

Monday - Love 
Tuesday - Joy 
Wednesday - Surprise 
Thursday - Anger 
Friday - Sadness 
Saturday - Fear 
Sunday - Apathy 

In detail: 

Monday will be humid with scattered sensuality in the north 
And an inferno of intense heat in the southern regions 
Hankering mist should dissipate by noon in the metropolitan areas 
Leaving the day clear for much needed devotion 
A warm front of ardor and rapturous fog will settle in the early evening 
With a blanket of infatuation trending into tomorrow 

Tuesday’s weather will bring great happiness to the high country 
The light summer breeze will frolic in the low lying areas 
While temporary clouds bring forth delectation to those in need of rain in the east 
As insects frolic from flower to flower, elated by the merriment of the day 
Wonder will nip at the petals of your hydrangeas 
Causing them to glisten in the beaming sun’s rays 

Wednesday will include bouts of intense amazement 
Sudden bewilderment may bring precipitated shock and wonder at the start of the day 
And lingering astonishment, with overwhelming highs by sunset
A combination of perplexity and awe 
Will take your breath away at 11:35 p.m. with the scheduled lunar eclipse 
Which should allow you to sleep with gleeful dreams into the early morning 

Thursday’s storms will antagonize the area with thunder claps 
While to the east, infuriating gusts of low pressure havoc 
May generate enough electrical ire to spawn violent twisters in some parts 
Hail and gusty winds will make driving hazardous 
By creating petulant slicks that cause your vehicle to hydroplane 
Meanwhile, vexing the beaches with indignant waves and furious down pours 

Friday we should anticipate showers of hopelessness 
Followed by residual grief and poignant mourning 
A rush of wallowing and despondency 
Will be cause for heavy rains, coupled with severe anguish 
Dense clouds of heartache will remain for the remainder of the day 
And obscure the sunset entirely with tribulation, making your commute listless 

Saturday, prepare for snow in the higher elevations 
Anxiety levels of high pressure could form in the mainland areas by noon 
The anticipation for such weather can incite apprehension 
So stay calm, do not let foreboding blizzards terrorize 
And keep the kids indoors until the panic and despair elevates 
When outside, use thick layers to combat the possible return of aversion and angst 

Sunday promises to be lethargic, with lack of feeling by the coast 
Indifference with subtle disregard will linger for most of the day 
A strong pattern of detachment should hit the mountain regions 
And possible stoicism could occur in the valleys 
A calm disregard of everything will persist until 7:30 p.m. 
As aloofness and disinterest might make visibility difficult during dusk