Im alive

I lay still in my bed
I look calm on the outside,
but underneath I'm a mess
I stay quiet so I won't confess
The feelings I have buried
If I expressed them I would be exposed
My heart would lay upon your hand
My feet would be in quicksand
It wasn't a fast falling type of thing
It slowly grew inside of me
Until it completely took over my being
Sometimes I thought I must be dreaming
Something this good.. can't be a good thing
I keep waiting for the bad to come
But it doesn't, this is real
It's a scary thing, how I feel
It runs so deep.. I'm afraid
It's become apart of me
It's needed, in order for me to survive
For the first time in forever,
I feel alive.