(It's a kitty poem. Don't be scared) Irony Part 3? 4? Does It Matter?

that's the problem with wanting to kill yourself
there's to much to miss
and i feel that its all worth it

but its all so hard
i sit here at my desk weeping knowing i cant do it
but i know there are people who love me and just now,
my kitten jumps on my knee knowing that im terribly sad.

i look at her and cry more thinking of a poem about how
i knew one day she would do so

I open the window and she jumps up right into the seal.
She's a stray just like me.
and we're both trapped in this house
just begging to get out the door
to explore.

in my first book i wrote 'Kerouac had it all right'
hopefully one day i will have it right to.

so i sit here in my office getting drunk off of hidden bottles
pretending to be something when I realize that I am this kitten.

a stray with big ears and a annoying interest in everything.
again,
thats the problem with wanting to kill yourself.
there's just to much
and i have to wait for my kitty to leave my lap.
but she wont
not until its okay that im gone.