Addiction of the soul

I cant live with my profound instability  
I cant be the poison and the remedy
I can inform, enlighten, give an idea;
cant explain how my reality's so severe
Not willing to accept that I am actually an addict
That my day to day life is controlled by a habit
Over indulgence in substance abuse
Determined by no reasonable excuse
Taunted by inner demons I have created
Suffer of Psychotic schizophrenia; drug related
Will power ceases to exist never to reappear
Self control lost with the inability to commandeer
Sobriety brings lack of interest, days mundane
From the daily abusing and use i must refrain
The need for a high overcomes any felt lows
No lesson learnt from how bad my mind goes
My own worst enemy from drug dependency
No one else to blame because of ascendancy
ever seeking that intoxicating rush and feeling
until i realise that its from addiction i need freeing.