The Hawthorne Effect

Paranoia, I'm scared there's people watching me
In the dark, just behind
I turn my head and glimpse out of my peripheral
Shadows and paintings of laughing faces
I tighten my pose and
Clench my fists

Darling waits in the corner
Nose pressed to the cold
While I cover my face and
Lower my eyes in hate

Self hate
Always watching but never receiving
Anything but judgement and deceit
Turn the cheek
Soften my lips
Whet my desire
But nothing ever comes of it

I'm alone here in the dark
Marking my territory with absent eyes
And great reprise

No, I don't feel complete until
I'm luring you to my bed
Give me this, if only this
Because I can't remember
The last time I lied

My benefit isn't loneliness but my
Sides ache and my shoulders cry out
Sore and weak from holding up the world
This is the day I weep
The day I leave home

Wait for me on the other side and I'll
Find myself drawn to your gravity
Having politely declined any help
From friends and family
This is my chore

Nothing more