true crime

I
discipline cases on campus.
I see the young men and women
who are close to being expelled
due to poor grades, poor attendance,
entering and stealing items from fellow dorm members
physical altercations
drug usage
sexual transgressions
reaching over bath stalls to photograph members of the opposite sex
doing their business
being a male found on a female only dorm room after hours
using alcohol in the dorm rooms
not private enough self stimulation
plagiarism
impersonating a student to take their test for them
possession of marijuana

If anyone only learned of the crimes I commit
I would make my student's transgressions childs play
which is of course what it is
experimentation, grappling
with the forces of temptations
and the base emotions

We are here to send out into the world
the latest crop of movers and shakers
individuals who know how to button their shirts,
adjust their ties, young warriors to join America's Christian business elite.

I have to get them to be discrete
and drug tolerant to social cocaine, powdered ritalin
extramarital sex, and appear politically correct and well shaved
in all outward appearances.


My wife has long given up on sex,
due to my  'erectile dysfunction'
I have such a backlog of young women
who are willing to strike a deal when my iron is hot
so that mommy and daddy don't need to learn of
A proud daughter's little transgression

I have professors in my court who will
change that failing mark to a C+, for students eager to
participate in 'extra credit'

but it has become a blur
with age
finding baggies in the oddest of places

confiscated from transgressors

discarded condoms under sofa cushions

It is time for me to clean up my act
to accept Jesus as my savior

I am a devil in disquise

It is time, yes,
I am confident I will change my ways
tomorrow