Erosion

When it becomes too much
When I forget
The dead eye look creeps upon me face
Like some veterans 1000 yard stare

I go back to the first time
A moment from memory
All sights sounds smells
Those vivid faced below
Recapture butterflies,  nervous excitement
Dont fluff a well rehearsed routine
Sweat prickling under hair
Stood still for eternity waiting, alone
Waiting for the music
200 pairs of eyes

5 inch black stilletoes, ankle boots
Laced tight
White mini dress of knit wool
Tied back of neck, no bra
Red thong, hair raven black
Loose
Snail eyes willing me on
Inside, feelings of fight or flight

Smoke descends, lights flash
Neon blues, phosphorous whites
In time with bass beats
The Grid, I Can See Cowboys
(panic thoughts of I should be a cowgirl...too late) So do wot I do best
Dance

Falling body an soul to rhythm
Only spacial awareness keeps me grounded
Podium an I at one
Nothing else exists...until
Dress hits floor, crowd roar
Mess up a step landing back on Earth
Back to savage eyes
On me,  over me
inside me
Urging on
turning on

Some tell of 'sexual empowerment'
I say tis only bravery
To be desired by so many,
if but briefly
Last seconds
as panties are pulled away
A moment stood for all to see
Liberated, venerated
Fires arousal for being wanted

These half lies I feed upon
That first time I felt so strong
All drugs wear, 100th hit no longer the 1st
I still dance
a husk in war paint
Going thru motions

I see faces no more