"Etching the Marks of My Acridity into the Granite Walls of my Soul" Prequel to "The 9 Year Itch"

It's so hard to breath in this place

Every gasp I've taken, has never
escaped... I've held them all in, not
able to release

Burdensome has been the time spent
here, to say the least; like etchings on
an leather strap, or, scratches on a
prison cells walls, I've marked them all

I probably didn't really want to, but it
happens this way when all your life's
drive has flown-away (I didn't used to
feel this way)

And all the unreleased tension and
pent-up emotions just feel like an heart-
attack resting on the chest, just waiting
to happen

Sometimes I grab it in fear and think that
this is it... it's finally here; sometimes I grab
it and wishfully thinking, think how so much
it, I'd endear

But still, I endure

A will still to press-on... daemons beckoning
me for to release and let it just go; a will that's
ironclad, but an nagging virtue in my mind that
says living like this is mere madness

An daemon on my shoulder saying that I should
fight-on and it'll get better; but the angel that
screams in my mind sounds a whole lot fucking
more in line with how I'm feeling when it says...

"Just give into the darkness at the tunnels-end
 and let it carry you to the shores that lie just
 on the other-side... can't you already hear
 their waters as they ebb and then, wash
 back up against its shore like an lullaby"

But still, I'll endure and...

And all the unreleased tension and
pent-up emotions hold onto like an heart-
attack resting on the chest, just waiting
to happen

Sometimes I grab it and think in fear that
this is it... it's finally here; sometimes I grab
it and wishfully thinking, think how so much
it, I'd endear

But still, I Persevere... after all, I've been
hardened this way