Goodbye

             
Buddhist bowl song,              
resonating notes,              
tone on tone on tone              
half-lotus, knees bowed              
mala strung, wooden and round              
awaiting those words              
my mantra soundings          
             
namu amida butsu              
nen nen fu ri shin              
           
she, ever searching            
life’s stinging backhands,            
insults to her gender,            
signs that incite,            
bring tyrannical screeds,            
the impossible path of          
her persecuted sex            
           
namu amida butsu              
nen nen fu ri shin              
           
whispering echoes              
resounding and resounding              
my soul unknowing              
quiet home found              
peace encompassing      
no mind, no heart              
one with all, one              
             
namu amida butsu              
nen nen fu ri shin              
             
sees it under surfaces,              
feels it, clinging to it              
a little girl, frightened              
she thinks I destroy it,              
all that’s left to her              
that it’s all been taken,              
what’s next? hating it              
             
namu amida butsu              
nen nen fu ri shin              
             
long coming undone              
our love, our home              
only holding on,         
my soul moves             
for who she will become              
owning her own self,              
with our wounds no more
             
namu amida butsu              
nen nen fu ri shin              
             
panic twisting mind              
bitter, angry, blinding fear              
attacks, each nerve severs              
thinking fast, we can’t              
she, justifying every cut              
every insult, every belittlement              
every time we struck            
             
namu amida butsu              
nen nen fu ri shin              
             
knowing one another              
for so long, hoping              
our lower love shows              
how our unbound life              
continues on after,           
offering only a road to              
consider, following “good-bye”              
             
             
             
Namu Amida Butsu means "total reliance upon the compassion of Amida Buddha."                  
Nen Nen Fu Ri Shin means "Thought after thought are not separate from mind."