My Dearest Levallan

My dearest Levallan,
By now I had fully intended to be miles away,
But my weary feet forbid me from moving on,
While my even wearier heart beseeches me to stay,
By now I woefully assume that you have either completely forgotten me,
Have moved on to a more receptive lover in my absence,
Or that worst of all you are so racked with anger and grief that I'm the last person you want to see,
The possibility that you could perceive me as maliciously apathetic to you and our love devastates my conscience,
For that could be no further from the truth,
Without you I aimlessly wander in circles,
The rays of the sun appear cold and pale while the light of the stars can neither guide nor soothe,
My thoughts thrash cacophorically in my skull,
My words plaster themselves to my tongue,
And drip from my mouth like mercury,
What I am trying to convey my Levallan is that trying to live without you is like supporting yourself on a falling ladder by desperately clinging to the last rung,
Consider this letter my most desperate plea for reconciliation and my most heartfelt of apologies.

Forgive my solemn goodbye and sudden departure,
And my habitually callous nature that prevents me to write,
But you must understand that I never expected something like us to occur,
For with you I have founded neither pleasure as sweet nor bitter as goodbye,
You illuminated my world with the brilliance of your eyes and the richness of your lips,
Your silver hair shimmering in the afternoon sun,
When it cascades like liquid silk past your supple shoulders down to your graceful hips,
your spirit invigorates my body in our nights of passion,
And rejuvenates my heart with your loving morning gaze,
By your command I would traverse any world of fire and brimstone,
For you have wreathed exquisite colors into my life of grays,
And while I am further away than any bird has flown,
You have no need to seek me,
For if you only look at the ruffles in your sheets, the clothes on your floor, and the tears in your eyes,
You will find me.


-With all my love,
Solas