I'm going to win this battle..

Joseph I'm so sorry, your mothers a mess
See son I fight a battle with a monster named meth.... Since you've been born I left it behind, now everyday of my life I've lost myself trying.. she's calling me son, she wants me to leave.
Am I really thinking like this?! I cannot believe 😓
I might look happy on the outside and sad on DUP
But I can't figure who is the real me...

At age 11 I took my first hit,
At 13 I slamming heavy shit
At age 16 I over dosed and died
Age 17-18 rehab-meth fried..
I'm older now it's been a couple years.
But she's waiting for me to recall my first fears.

How am I supposed to know who I am?
I was raped at age 4 and forced to give in.

Age doesn't matter anymore
Idgaf I want to be HER whore

What was the first word of this poem again?
Is this really worth this devilish sin?
I mean I can't be a good mother high on dope , but one thing I know is ill know how to cope...
Another one after another..
Another "ahh fuck I've been using all summer"
Day after day hour after hour
She eats at me, waiting so she can devour
Every dream I have..of course every shower..
She'll choose when is what and she has all the power..
Wait.. I'm forgetting something .. First word..
Of.. The .. Poem..
I have to stay strong so I can SHOW him.
Lead him in the right path not where I've been ..

I want him to know who he is at age 10.
BUT if he doesn't, I want him to know I'll always love him.