Euphoric Opiates

I went chasing dragons because
I wanted to remember what you smelled like
I burnt a ciggerette out on my wrist to remember what your kiss felt like
I dragged razor blades down my tongue
As to recall the way it would crash down your neck
You were the most beautiful walking disaster i had ever seen
And i envied the way you carried your sins like vases of flowers and lace
While mine weighed upon my back like skickering gargoyles
You were too much for yourself
I love how you continue to hurt me
Im sorry im not the one to fix you
In fact i play with your tragedies like marionette strings
Watch the way your brow furrows as you sip from vodka bottles
Unaware that your fingers twitch with anticipation of whats to come
Oh, how orgasmic your face stayed
Relaxed and numb when needle plunged into cusp of arms
God I love you
I cant say it when im sober
Or moreover i cant say it when youre sober
Ive fallen for the subtle details of your strung out body
Scars, scabs, bleeding hearts
I love your intensity
Your devotion and fondness of euphoric opiates
Perhaps because i desire you to gaze at me with the same fondness
But how can i compare to such depraved intoxication