Unfinished Conflict

What do you do when you can't go back to pickin up a pipe or a white boy, no first time crack cocaine to heal the pain cause his dust is just a decoy. My flesh in rebellion knows that Mary Jane can daze my emotions better than the oxygen being cut off from my brain when drowning in this ocean, with every hit of that loud- my soul began smoking,turning into a wisp of fumes no longer to exist, ... My inner self wants to run, self destruct and obstruct the deadliest potion- to kill the weeds wrapping themselves around my brain, these thoughts and emotions seduce and sedate my nerves , leaving me with lifeless eyes and a broken soul, no ghost or ghoul,...can frighten me enough to spark life within these bones...