bridges

honesty is my policy
and I know I can't grow a tree like you would
I would only grow potatoes in the ground with smileys that are, duh, upside down
I won't be a clown
I'm telling you this so you can get the jest of it all
To see it crumble and fall
Like the baby that I once held so dear but now I only see the bridge that connect us all since the fuckin beggining

I felt like a baby going through the vagine though I saw myself going through the cosmic universe bare naked
for all to mistake me as a man child but I'm grown up as an old soul

that could only bare witness with the one who could tell me the mistakes in my life

cause he's the only one I love he's the only one I could spare he's the only one I could call my devil my son my love
my little white dove that I struck from the ground up

so suck it up and whatever left is whatever pain is left and the deaf could only take into account what makes us love and laugh

and it's so beautiful like the trees that I see in the night or in the early morning when the mexicans wake up to go to work and they see the tears
that was left behind from yesterday and the rain washed it all away and I couldn't nearly escape as one offered me a cigarette and I accepted cause

the days were long the days are long like the worms that sing underground and all the pounds of meat in the word don't take into account that we
all accepted it like whores that are bored like the english with their beautiful white teeth

Oh gods and all above what about the turtle doves what about them that cause what we nearly missed that won't make conscious sense but you must try
you must defy you must go out and about and punch somebody in the face with all your disgrace but be proud of who you are because they will always try to make you defy and buy the lies. Buy more lies like the kfc chicken that I bought when I sick with all of this.

What am I tryin to say? What am I tryin to persuade. Love me. Cut me. Shun me or do both like the cocks that go into the motherland looking for work.
and I could only imagine my grandmother rolling in her grave and I see her cryin covering her face because I could only love her for that.

and again a rambling disgrace reminds of me of the child that I loved. Where is he now? How could I've known and I can't help it if my face is permanently out of shape. And theres a gap in my mind that won't leave behind what was there and there if for everyone to see.

Yes, I'll whore myself. I'll do myself over and over and over and over again until I can't nor could I smell.

and again I see that bridge that connects us all

but I'm looking at the mountains like the father or like the moon
and I can't see nothing inside them anymore and emptiness is galore
I need more I need an escape

or I can't inhale the fumes of the day

Oh gods the fumes of the day that only a grandmother could understand like the days that her husband would come smack her in front of me as tears ran down like streams but they made forget

they held me down and they made me forget

and they raped me again and again and I forgot

and then I zoomed out and I looked as if I was a theatre hovering above like a dove mugging and digging what was left underground

and I couldn't forget, no i still didn't forget that bridge that connected us all as I look into the distance and the moutains
oh the beautiful mountains which grew the lands but until the bands of the company that took us all and made us into proper band

yes I'm sad and all I can do is check everyday as if it will happen so I disgrace myself by putting a mask and telling everybody to laugh
and then i'll mask those who didn't want to be mask especially the children but then I found one at last
like my cousin who could only check in me once or twice a laugh
and I realized who he was
it was me, it was only me

it was me with me staring into mountains and I cried as my skin turned tight once again

and I stared into those mountains without a sight in my face
and I held that little boy in my hands and I wanted to cry
but I put on that mask even though there were cracks

and I left into that crowd

but I'll never forget the bridge that connected us all, waiting for it to fall