deepundergroundpoetry.com
Midnight Train
Engine as loud as
Thunder rolling through the hills
The beast rolls on through
Thunder rolling through the hills
The beast rolls on through
Published 28th Nov 2015
| Edited 29th Nov 2015
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likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 4
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Nov 2015 1:50am
I'm trying to decide if I like the repetition of 'through', or if that's what actually makes it work. I think the latter.
29th Nov 2015 4:16am
Tbh, I couldn't think of another way to end it. Without the last "through", it was only 4 syllables instead of 5
29th Nov 2015 7:47am
it's the echo of the train's roar,
like the repetitive clik-clak of the wheels on the tracks,
so it's good...
like the repetitive clik-clak of the wheels on the tracks,
so it's good...
29th Nov 2015 3:02pm
