Still Missing You

You used to brag about me all the time.
I thought you were crazy and out of line.
In my eyes, I was nothing at all to brag about.
In your eyes, I was as high up as the clouds.

You bragged about us girls and our smarts.
You bragged about the boys knowing cars.
I miss your annoying yet wonderfully funny jokes.
I miss the way you always looked at me with hope.

I miss annoying you.
I miss saying I love you.
I miss everything, but I can't get it all back.
I miss you so much, but you can't come back.

I can't get over how much I thought you would make it through.
I didn't think giving up was something you knew how to do.
You were so stubborn and always put up a fight.
I thought that you'd refuse to walk towards the light.

A part of me will always be missing unless I get to talk to you somehow.
I want to just tell you to your face that you're going to be a Grandpa.
I hate that I won't be able to see my son call you Grandpa everyday.
I hate that I don't really know how you'd react or what you would say.

I can only imagine that you would be happy and full of joy.
I know in my heart that you would love and cherish my little boy.
As I get closer to having him, I miss you so much more.
I keep waiting for a call or for you to walk through my door.

I wait for nothing because you're gone.
I wait for nothing looking at this phone.
It's easy to think you're looking down and smiling.
That's not enough for me, but I'll just keep trying.