Undone

I come undone in the overnight.
My true self reveals its ugly face in the small hours
When I am small and blue and easy to break.
I feel the threats, the misgivings, the sadness of existence
And I often act on these feelings
with personally negative results.
My cure is remote and unavailable in these moments
And I twist in the wind.

I am stronger in the daylight
Even though I mostly hide from it
But late nights show where the defenses are weak.
I mend the fences the best I can each morning
But holes remain, patches seldom hold for long.
After midnight, the undoing begins
And goes until all has escaped me,
Leaving me shaking and cold,
Your merciful touch farther away than ever.