I Don't Wanna

What would I say?
Would I say that everything is okay?
Would I forgive?
Would I forgive the life you made me live?

What would I do?
If you wanted me back?
Could I look at you,
If only I had the chance?

What if that knock was you?
I wonder what I would do,

Cause I don't wanna let you in,
But I don't wanna let you go,
And I don't wanna say hello,
But I don't wanna say goodbye,
And I don't wanna know you,
But I don't wanna forget either,
I just wanna stop right now,

What if it was that September?
Do you even remember?  
It was love in November,
But ended in April Showers,
But no May flowers,
Only tears,

Just when I think it's over,
I have that dream again,
It's so hard to stay sober,
When will it all end?

And what if you said it was true?
Would I again love you?
What if you sat in December snow?
Saying you love me so,

What if that knock was you?
I wonder what I would do,

Cause I don't wanna let you in,
But I don't wanna let you go,
And I don't wanna say hello,
But I don't wanna say goodbye,
And I don't wanna know you,
But I don't wanna forget either,
I just wanna stop right now,

What if you died and I never knew?
Would I mourn for you?
Would your ghost haunt me?
Or would you let me be?

Why does your name hurt?
Why do I force more burns?
Why do I keep asking questions,
When I already know the answer?

I know I'm pathetic,
Stop acting sympathetic,
I'm the next Emily Dickinson,
We're both scared to run,

Love hurts like a flame,
But I'm only one to blame,

What if that knock was you?
I wonder what I would do,

Cause I don't wanna let you in,
But I don't wanna let you go,
And I don't wanna say hello,
But I don't wanna say goodbye,
And I don't wanna know you,
But I don't wanna forget either,
I just wanna stop right now,

What if that knock was you?
I wonder what I would do,

Cause I don't wanna let you in,
But I don't wanna let you go,
And I don't wanna say hello,
But I don't wanna say goodbye,
And I don't wanna know you,
But I don't wanna forget either,
I just wanna stop right now,

A dream is nothing more,
Then a dream,
The knock is just a figment,
Not what it seems,
Your not waiting on me,
You'd never give me flowers,
Or say you're sorry.
Or be here at all 24 hours,

And you only wanted me,
Because I was pretty,
And so naive,

You wanted to say,
That you got your way,
But don't go telling lies,
To all those jealous guys,