Overview of painful memories

Feeling hated,
Feeling used,
All around just feeling abused,
She goes on alone,
All the way to her room,
Shutting the door hearing the "click",
Wanting to feel nothing more,
Then she sits on her bed,
Getting ready for the thoughts in her head,
And once again she feels the pain,
Sees the blood,
She goes for the vain,
The horror,
The pain,
The guilt,
She's worried what her man will think,
Yet she can't end the drive,
That godforsaken strive,
Her blade,
Her arms,
The blood makes her happy,
The sight,
The smell,
How it shimmers in the light,
Seeing everything fade away,
As the darkness makes a barricade,
She's gone,
She's left,
Nothing more than a scarred up body that will rot away.