Why Must It Be So Complicated

Admiration and desperation,
The one I'm with I must admit isn't the greatest.
But my longing is not from the lack of love.
My longing comes from deep within.
To be with you, you say would be horrible,
But I see you to be adorable.
How much it hurts to see him in pain,
I would risk this to have you.
You're clearer than morning dew,
Softer than its grass,
Only to have you in my grasp.
You slip away slowly,
I wish I wasn't so lowly.
Why must this war rage in my mind,
and pull my heart in.
If I could have waited,
Had more courage,
Not feel the pain that surges,
Through my veins,
Some days it makes me want to just drain,
All of it out of my body.
No longer feel this hurt,
Feel like to you I had some worth.
You don't love me.
I love you.
He loves me.
This circle is spinning,
I'm getting dizzy,
You tell me I'm pretty,
You would be with me.
The situation makes the ache come in,
It makes the world feel hopeless,
If only.
Words cannot describe,
Writing has become pointless,
Worthless,
It's an endless stomachache,
Headache.
Rambling,
Babbling,
The right words won't manifest,
How much I want to be the best.