Poetic Hangover

Whilst, I definitely enjoy this poem, I am in two minds! I am at a loss as to why it is set out this way, but then again I am quite dull! Hmmm, I am tempted to say that it would be better off if parts were added to help it flow instead of the broken up verse, but then...Hmmmm.

As I am lacking any certainty in any points so far I would say that 'surrender' would sit better than 'capitulation'

Anyhow, I do hope some critique can be found in my tired ramblings.

Tired ramblings from a poet of your insight are worth at least two dozen back-slapping, "good job!" posts.  Thanks!  
   
Normally I wouldn't do it this way but it's really two poems in one (hence the formatting), with one the "poems" really being a tired, old cliche.  Perhaps that's why you were in two minds? :)  
   
I wasn't sure of word choice for the ending so I kind of went with whatever came to mind first, but your input is appreciated.  
   
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, tired ramblings or not.

I don't know whether it's necessary or not, but for background to the poem, it's actually a response to a poem that L.A. wrote while under considerable influence of an alcoholic substance.  I'm sure she's oh so grateful. :)

love the form, the staggered verse read between the lines thing. i hear 'confession' instead of capitulation...or surrender, but im getting a different vibe from this probably.

regardless it's good to go

Thanks for the feedback.  After yours and Mr Townend's comments I think I should just change "capitulation" to "[insert word of choice here]".  ;)  (I'm actually half serious).  
 
Thanks again!

there's probably a more subtle way to do that but its definitely a good idea.

I'm with Jamie. I like it but it's off. It needs more. It needs something. Idk I really can't say myself. But it's not bad. But it's not great neither. Would I call it a poem? Maybe but more a phrase then a poem. Or a long quote..

A glancing afterthought, like smoking a cigarette after sex.  Yeah, yeah, I get it.  Why is it everyone chooses to comment on my less serious pieces.  :)

Thanks for reading and commenting, I appreciate it.