When I danced with my Lover

He stands in the middle of the room and softly calls my name. I look up from my lap filled with pain, regret, and shame and stare at this kind face in blue jeans and a plain white T-shirt.
“May I have this dance?”
I’m not even dressed for the occasion.
“Neither am I.” he says answering my thought.
He stretches out his hand and patiently waits for me to place my hand in it. I hesitantly stand up and fiddle with my oversized sweater and my face in attempt to fix myself up a little. My face is wrinkled from all the nights I have spent worrying about my past, my present, and my future. My knuckles and scars on my arms are evidence of the endless fights I have fought against myself and the darkness. I thought the blood that I shed with every cut was enough to wash away all my pain, regret, and shame...but I was wrong.  
“Forget all that. Just come as you are.”
I had gotten too lost in my thoughts that I forgot that He was even standing there.
“Dance with me.”
He moves closer towards me. Oceans starts to play softly in the background…almost like a lullaby. I finally place my shaking hand into His. He slowly closes His hand over mine and draws me towards Him. I’m filled with immediate peace and close my eyes as I place my head on his chest and allow myself to sway to the lullaby.
“Let Me lead you.”
He twirls me a couple of times before drawing me towards me again.
“I am Yours and you are Mine” he sings along to the song.
I’ve listened to this song a thousand times, but never have those words sounded so sweet, or held so much meaning, as they did when he sang them.  Few tears rolling down my cheeks turned into an uncontrollable sob.
“Yes, yes, I know. It’s all over now. Let your soul rest in my embrace.” He whispers into my hair.  
As I allow myself to get completely lost in this moment. He stops moving for a second, and hold up my fists to his lips. Gently he kisses each knuckle, making sure not to miss a single bruise or scratch. As he begins kissing the scars on my wrists, it hit me. He was always there…waiting for me to accept His invitation to dance with Him. But I was so caught up in trying to safe myself that I didn’t realise that all I had to do was accept His invitation to dance with Him, and allow Him to fight the battles for me. My sob slowing turned into a laugh with my realization.
"There you go! Look at that smile!” He says before laughing along with me.
We just stood there…hosing ourselves. It was the most refreshing laugh I’ve ever had.
“So I will call upon Your name” I begin singing. “And keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace…’’

“For I am Yours,” He joins in, “and You are mine.”


*the song referred to is ‘Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)’ by Hillsong United.