i dream of waking Life

being around people, to a certain degree, makes you feel not alone. you can share pipes, pages, hugs, words, night's, drugs, curb sides, benches, classrooms, clothes, opinions, apartments, and sometimes (if you're lucky) groceries, without much animosity, and sometimes, to varying degrees of delight. but what i really wanted to share made me feel greedy. i was unsure if my standards were too high. i wanted to share transformation and magic and tiny bits of my soul in exchange for theirs. but it was this unsettling feeling that i was asking for too much which made me too afraid to even try and attain it. i got close once. closer than i have ever felt or tasted or transferred. but she was the big picture while i was only a snap shot. i still enjoy her company. on occasion we share a yoga class a heart to heart a tea. i always commemorate how far and fast she has grown, and feel a bit self conscious after a visit. as if perhaps my own performance bettered might make me more confident in drawing her near. but she is a free spirit. she is powerful and important and the Universe covets her, even on the days she whispers her own uncertainties into my ear, which i outwardly comfort and listen to, while inwardly laughing away. she is perfectly in line with her Destiny, and the master of where it will take her. i Love her and what she represents to me and how much she has helped me to grow. but even while she is still present in my Life there are times when i miss her. not wanting to tamper with Divine flow i relish our time together and wonder if one day our paths will intertwine more readily. her existence will continue to sustain me regardless. she is a bright star reflected in my own deep sea of black.