deepundergroundpoetry.com
Cigarette Incense
I have a friend who told me today about how he lets his cigarettes burn like incense, sitting untouched but lit on a table. Hes a mechanic, a smart person, good with his hands but too stuck in his mind to do many things that would be a benefit. When he works on cars, he'll light one up, set it on the table and when he comes back to it, theres about one hit left or burnt out, nothing but filter.
Thats how life is.
You start something, set it down, and come back to it. Time didn't stop for that object, just like time didn't stop to tell the cigarette not to burn. Time continues on without you whether you are involved or not. Whether you will it to. Or not.
So at the ripe age of 18 my friend has come to a conclusion that I too have reached. It just took me a little longer.
This is it for us.
Me and him, at the old age of 20 essentially have hit our high points. We will never be the rich man getting his car worked on. We will be the ones under it.
Due to circumstances.
While I had my fair share of chances to get up and run, start over. Fear held me back and I never did. And while he did, he never ran far enough. Never stayed in one spot long enough for it all to work out. So while I was smoking pot and sleeping in class, and my friends were studying from 7am-11pm over stupid english and boring math classes in highschool, that made a gap. Lets pretend its a small stream. Then when we graduate highschool, you can go to college, or work. Stream is a river. And circumstances of birth, laywers daughters versus the convienience store cashier's daughter. An ocean of an enormous proportion separates me from my dreams, and this hell hole we call reality.
So as I sit in my car, parked outside of a convienence store miles away from my house. The cashier asks me as I buy my smokes "Is this all for you today?". And for the first time in my life I dont say yes. I dont say no. I just stare, pay, and leave. Because I dont know if thats it for me. But I sure do have time on my side and a lot of rubber to burn before I realize if I made the right choices in life....or if im stuck in a maze.
So as I have my cigarette laying on my dashboard like incense, perfectly balanced, asking myself if this is it for me, Ill let it burn and follow the smoke.
Thats how life is.
You start something, set it down, and come back to it. Time didn't stop for that object, just like time didn't stop to tell the cigarette not to burn. Time continues on without you whether you are involved or not. Whether you will it to. Or not.
So at the ripe age of 18 my friend has come to a conclusion that I too have reached. It just took me a little longer.
This is it for us.
Me and him, at the old age of 20 essentially have hit our high points. We will never be the rich man getting his car worked on. We will be the ones under it.
Due to circumstances.
While I had my fair share of chances to get up and run, start over. Fear held me back and I never did. And while he did, he never ran far enough. Never stayed in one spot long enough for it all to work out. So while I was smoking pot and sleeping in class, and my friends were studying from 7am-11pm over stupid english and boring math classes in highschool, that made a gap. Lets pretend its a small stream. Then when we graduate highschool, you can go to college, or work. Stream is a river. And circumstances of birth, laywers daughters versus the convienience store cashier's daughter. An ocean of an enormous proportion separates me from my dreams, and this hell hole we call reality.
So as I sit in my car, parked outside of a convienence store miles away from my house. The cashier asks me as I buy my smokes "Is this all for you today?". And for the first time in my life I dont say yes. I dont say no. I just stare, pay, and leave. Because I dont know if thats it for me. But I sure do have time on my side and a lot of rubber to burn before I realize if I made the right choices in life....or if im stuck in a maze.
So as I have my cigarette laying on my dashboard like incense, perfectly balanced, asking myself if this is it for me, Ill let it burn and follow the smoke.
Published 24th Sep 2015
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24th Sep 2015 2:41am
Very thought provoking and original. Although I'm not sure I agree with it philosophically, I enjoyed this read
Anonymous
- Edited 24th Sep 2015 8:36am
24th Sep 2015 8:35am
how he lets his cigarettes burn like incense - I love the imagery here, especially since when I still smoked, this is what I would do, light one up, forget about it a while, only finding a drag and a filter. I never thought of it as burning insence. But that bit made me think that, just like insence, it's a bit of a time keeper too. Getting lost in thought, but not so long that you completely loose track of the burning insence.
Although, I must say, reading about 18 and 20 year olds feeling this way, that's a surprise to me as the best years are still to come regardless of circumstances. I half expected the caracters to be much older, between the ages of 38 (maybe older even) and 50 maybe. This truly are the ages where you start thinking and philosophise about the wrong turns in life and realise that perhaps, it is too late to make a huge change in life, then light up the next sigarete, time keeper and stick of insence
Although, I must say, reading about 18 and 20 year olds feeling this way, that's a surprise to me as the best years are still to come regardless of circumstances. I half expected the caracters to be much older, between the ages of 38 (maybe older even) and 50 maybe. This truly are the ages where you start thinking and philosophise about the wrong turns in life and realise that perhaps, it is too late to make a huge change in life, then light up the next sigarete, time keeper and stick of insence
25th Sep 2015 10:13pm
Yup, very glad I read this one. It reads beautifully. I hope there will be further chapters and verses from these characters when they have more miles under their belts, out on the ocean in a tiny row-boat or carving through glinting waves on a pair of water-skis, boyz done good.
This poem makes me care about the characters. I really enjoyed it.
Lulu
This poem makes me care about the characters. I really enjoyed it.
Lulu
