I Hope You Dont Read This

I fed you as much of myself as I could
Im the biggest hypocrite I know
And as I told you knives weren't your friends and scars arent the kind of pretty we thought they were
My own skin was marked and scratched by my hand of self hatred
I didnt tell you I hated myself as much as you hated yourself
I didnt know how
One of us had to be the strong one
And Ive been feeling broken for so long that it was second nature
I was just as much a part of my mental disorders as I am my own scared skin
You needed me to say it was ok
You didnt need the worry my issues would bring
Because honey Im broken beyond all repair
But your silver lining was there behind  storm clouds
It would just take a little pushing to find them
I still say I love you at the end of every night like nothing had changed
Perhaps a part of me was still convinced you were mine