Must try

I cannot see me going on
Living sucks without the one
Thing I miss I crave each day
It's like a presence that to this day
I want to burn a flower still
A each day I cannot be with you
You got me through my younger days
You showed me calm and in my ways
I seem so dependent on you
But society cast you darkness bloom
I want you here in my hands
I prepare for the day I can call you mine
You impact me with hope for stress
Relief my mind can't be without
Any other way instead
I beat this weight alone my head
Was higher still yet hindered yet
A bet my task is paid unrest
Worth it to me to keep a check
Paid in shame and unrealized
A fear of death unrecognized
Mindful fear and pain subside
I can't go on without this prize
Shelter me whoever can
I'm surrounded my "normal" minds
Don't understand its heavy weight
Is stronger than me
Suicide is all I dream
But hell is here it calls my name
I wish for sanity
Yet nothing can
Save me from a prison
Timed by light and shine
Behind
I look to skies
And rope untied
Then a knot is made around my life
It ends sooner than I can try
It isn't me who saves my strife
It is what I have and left behind
I close my eyes and she is there
The rope is cut
Gravity is queer
It's lifted up and smile a sigh
Relief is mine and burned a high
Can it be
An inside mind switched to play
A dangerous crime
It's hopeless now
But hopeful still
Forget my name and feel my ill
I refuse to take my pill