"IS SARAH WORKING?"

My arms can't comfort me.
Knees to chest,head rested on the shower wall.
Shivering under scalding water.
I need a smile.
I can't even manipulate the mirror to do so today.
No new messages.
Not even a ring for a week.
I need some drugs.
Clothes torn,don't fit.
This uncomfortable carbon fiber,titanium anchor can't be hidden.
And even if it could be,the stumbling,limp is always here.
Fucking pity magnet,I've become.
I need to see her.
A 12 minute drive to the restaurant.
I dislike the food.
The atmosphere sucks.
The only good thing is a waitress named Sarah.
She never remembers my name,
but I don't mind.
All I need is a smirk and giggle,
and I'm level.
Baby blues,dirty shoes,ponytail,and bitten nails.
Torn stockings,and a wrinkly apron.
I can't wait to make her laugh.
"Thanks for holding the door miss"
"No I wasn't in the service"
God get me to that booth.
As I enter the shithole,
I look around as cool as I'm capable of being.
I don't see her.
The hostess approaches.
"Hello again,just one right?"
I nod and try to keep in my excitement when asking,
"Is Sarah working today?"
 chest tightens, when she responds,
"She doesn't work here anymore"
I felt like I just got dumped..
and that's just fucking sad-
 don't you think?