A real wish for now

The ice in my veins,
does nothing to stop my blood from boiling.
Whenever I see your ugly fucking face,
I want to choke you with your bed sheet.

Don't you see what you're doing to me?
I wish I had the courage,
to show you with a knife I cleaned,
just to get dirty.

I know I would regret it,
and I'd never dream of taking you from a mother who would weap.
I fear for my soul,
so I let you live selfishly.