goodbye forever </3

i thought this woould be easy,
just take a couple pills or cut a little deeper.
i reallized its harder than anything,
harder than saying goodbye
harder than starting over.
i thought i could do it but i cant,
ive got the gun under my pillow and the knife in my drawer but i just cant go through with this.

i thought this would be easy,
just letting go, just being free... finally.
its harder than i thought but i have to do it,
i take the gun out and load it.
i put the gun to my temple my hands are so shakey i can bearly put it in the right place but i do.
then i pull the trigger,
and my brains go everywhere.
it feels the same as the day you put that knife through my chest.