H.A.L.T. ~ A Collection Of Poems For The Disordered Eater

"Bulimia Nervosa"
 
Last night I hit a breaking point
 
Sinking in my desperation
 
Gasping for balance
 
Choking on obscenities
 
That twist my perception
 
I saw a distorted reflection of myself
 
Cracking under the weight
 
& the pressure of my mind
 

"H.A.L.T."

Shattered fragments of mirrored self afflictions
Desperation
Self induced gagging on a false reality
I am remnants of a happier time
Fractured innocence
A healthier frame of mind
Now molding
To mimic society's portrayal of  "beauty"
A twisted view of myself
Contorting behind my eyes
Dizzy
From failed attempts at sanity
Dying to be thin
Wanting to carve away the imperfections
Slice through into my solace
& bleed out
My insecurities


"I'm Sick But I NeED My Disease"


"Just one more.."
One more "high"..
THIS ONE will fill the void
(Only to be sucked into the black hole that is my regret)
Emotionally starving
Searching for my next fix
(Gawd I hate myself today)
Sorrow runs in black rivers down my cheeks
The saline like sugar to the demons on my lips
(& it festers..)
"One more?"
Pleads my soul.. (weeping)
*I am Disgusted*
"Purge.. we wont tell.."
*Ashamed*
"We wont judge you.."
*So alone*
(breaking)
*Please not again..*
I beg
Hiding beneath the veil of my tears
& I give in..