Easter

      Easter is a made up holiday, cobbled from the jumbled bits of various Spring festivals throughout the world. When the Christian Empire consolidated power, they did so by bundling the beliefs of the people they conquered, syncretizing each into their own. Metastizing is typically welcomed by the truly faithful. They like being led, being wow'ed by beliefs and as such incremental changes in culture and legend occur as the changing of the guard. The typical modern American has little concept of the roots of any of their various traditions. As well they should though. Easter, like Halloween is a globally unifying force. The religious nature of the holiday secures the strength of it as a sociological mechanism. Humans made God in their own image in order to fool other humans into falling for their own gimmicks. Unsurprisingly, Easter is one of the biggest marketing keys in our spendy nation. So I propose we exploit the easily led American people by re-inventing Easter through this same set of follow-the-believer sequences. Easter can be saved, turned into something amazing, something brilliant and warm and invigorating and worthy of celebration. All it would take is  few simple and expensive, brassy moves.

     We as consumers follow what is available and what lures. The strange balance between accessibility and promotion exists on many dimensions. An Easter movie packaged and designed to glitter-blind and awe the American people would alter the national mindset of this holiday. To begin with, we cast Scarlett Johanssen, to not only ensure every male watches, but also because Scarlett is Jewish which adds controversy, or click-bait for the film to be search-engine optimized. Scarlett saves Easter in this movie. She visits every country that celebrates Spring revival and explores their rituals and the roots thereof. Alongside with exploration of agricultural revival is the contemplative theme of the forces inside of ourselves. Our own rebirth is addressed. Our self discovery and the purging of our cold winds, our demons is espoused. In other words, our heroine spends part of the movie celebrating Dia de los Muertos, Mardis Gras, New Year's Eve and Halloween to show parallels to Easter. In this way depth is sparked, allowing the themes to enrich the holiday, now in its adolescent stage. Finally the movie is made into an off-Broadway musical, thus ensuring it can be replicated at high schools, colleges,  parks and implanting Easter Evolution into the zeitgeist. The movie would be titled "World Egg", as in Card 21 of the Tarot, the World or unity and harmony, sustainability, homeostasis, wisdom achieved from a panoramic view. The holiday itself can be renamed as World Egg Day. A greater vista of rituals would allow for far more product marketing as well. Let's take back Easter and make it truly American again.