Not the Phoenix, but the ashes

If I lit one candle from my grief,
If I lit one candle for my pain,
If I lit one candle for my rage,
Still my heart when ne'er be light again
If I had one nickel for my hurt,
If I had one nickel for all the wrongs,
If I had one nickel for my sadness ,
I would be the richest in town.
If I cried one tear for each reminder
That the one that I love lies 6 feet down
If I cried one, just one tear each time I remember
Not a puddle , but a lake would fall to the ground .
If I had just one laugh for each time someone said
" it's not your fault, you will be fine, you are strong "
I would die from the pain of the laughter , yet not once would I make a sound
For I am not the Phoenix, the one who rises unscathed
I am not the unbreakable wall,
I am, but the ashes blown away in the wind
I am the house of straw knocked down .
And yet though scattered, the ashes refused to be broken
The birthplace of the Phoenix is sacred
Even though just ashes
From me eternal bird rises .