relapse

 It's almost 5am, I'm wide awake, my mind is racing, my hands trembling. Ive started using meth again back in April, maybe even March, I don't remember for sure. My homie Kyle had just been struck stupid a few days earlier when he was placed on community corrections instead of being sent to prison. He got hit with sale/distribution of methamphetamine, of which he would eventually be convicted of three more times.

We sat in his room with his girl and his sister drinking jager bombs to celebrate the Judges leniency. The jager was followed by beer, and buttershots. All of us were current or former meth heads, and when all of us were good and shitfaced we went to see a friend of ours, Jersey John, who was slingin. We got dope and went back to his place and shot up.

We used again a few weeks later, and again shortly  after that. I didn't know how I was managing to get away with it, since my girlfriend was a recovering meth addict. Probably because people only see what they want to see. That and she shared her prescriptions of vyvanse and adderall, both of which are amphetamines, meths close relative.

Kyle lived at his sister Jennifer's house a couple blocks from where I lived and me and as Adam & I were drawn back in to the life, I began spending more time with him & Jennifer. At least until he failed a ua on purpose, knowing they would send him to prison because he wanted to get away from the dope.

I hadn't been to his house or done meth in over a week, when my girlfriend, Amanda, who was also my boss, told me to go by and get Kyle's uniforms so we could get them washed and release his check to his mom or sister. I got high that night with Jennifer, and started stopping there to get high every night.

My girlfriend was becoming more & more irritated by the amount of time I spent at Jennifer's place, so when she brought it up I told her I felt a duty to look in on Kyle's sister as well as his nieces & nephew. That didn't work for very long, and my girlfriend became very suspicious as to what I was doing late at night with Jennifer.

Ever since I was a kid I've had a problem with authority, I can't stand being told what to do, so naturally the more she raged and demanded I stop hanging out with Jennifer, the more time I spent at Jennifer's place shooting dope and talking, or just sitting there. Things came to a head between me and Amanda, and we decided that we were in different places in our lives, and that it was better to just part ways before things got worse.

She found another house that she'd be moving into Within the next two days, and after she moved out I could just stay in the house we'd been renting. I stayed at Jennifer's that night, partying with her and Jason, one of her boy toys, who was smitten by puppy love,
She slept thru her drug classes the next morning and her probation officer called her and told her to be in her office by 4:00 that afternoon.

When Jennifer walked into her P.O's office, she was caught off guard when her P.O ordered her to take off her hoodie and show her her arms. Her arms were bruised and covered with track marks, and not even Jennifer could talk themself out of it this time.

When she didn't come back by 4:45 I called her cell, and it went to voicemail, and I knew then that she'd gotten popped.

Now almost four months later Kyle's a little over two weeks away from his release date, Jennifer just got out of rehab a couple weeks ago and I'm dating their older sister Gina.