My Battered Umbrella Heart

My Battered Umbrella Heart

Oh no darling don't worry about leaving the light on for me,
because when I stumble back half cut at 20 past 3,
And I'll have had a few too many vodkas inside me,
my clothes will be all tangled up in the roots of your money tree.

Shit. I forgot. i left my love on your backseat where you sit with me.
Along with my respect, my hope and my dignity.

You can keep the DVDs, the CDs, the "need me then leave me"s,
I'm keeping your sweater,
Cos the days got worse and the nights ain't getting much better.

I screamed so loud my lungs gave out,
You have no idea what I'm crying about.
The last words you heard from my mouth were "please don't leave me"
And the last thing I thought about was that you didn't need me.

Einstein never knew how much you do,
And all the slaves in the world never worked as hard as you do,
And everything old is never new to you,
But you never noticed that not even the sun shines as bright as I do when I'm with you.
At first your lies were hungrily fictitious,
Then I got addicted and suddenly they're delicious.

I'm your rhetorical question,
I'm your what, your when, your why.
I'd have held you a little longer if I knew that was goodbye.
I thought if I rented you my heart long enough eventually I'd die,
Yet here I am.
Picking up the pieces to your puzzle of lies.
I'm the idiot with the overgrown heart on my sleeve,
the one who clung to your Tshirt begging you not to leave.

you hate the quiet, you hate the silence and you hate being still,
I became all of the above as I knocked back that final pill.
And as the day turned to night and the night turned to day,
I realised there wouldn't be a baby and there wouldn't be a wedding day.

I never thought the saying "it's too good to be true" would apply to the idea of you loving me and me loving you.
Turns out I've got 99 problems and I am all of them,
Turns out the "I love yous" were solutions and I got bored of them.

I'm looking at the lipstick stains on the end of my cigarette and wondering if things are getting better yet.
Me and my battered umbrella heart are wondering if the winters getting wetter yet.
Is it getting wetter yet?