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The image I give off is nothing like how I feel inside.
The pain comes harder the more I attempt to make it hide.
Everything I've learned about strength is everything I already tried.
The man I tried to become only weakened as the boy in me cried.

I hate the tears, the pain and all of my past.
I drink, I smoked to slow their pace but they only became more fast.
Getting through this storm feels like an impossible task.
I dream, I pray, I wish but I have no idea how long this is going to last.

I hurt to think about my future because I know it will only bring more pain.
As the time goes by the more I feel insane.
I am a victim of my own life, by my past I was slain.
And they say you have to experience pain in order to gain.

So what exactly am I gaining? Is it strength or insanity?
Do I have to be learn this way? This pain is killing me.
Nothing I do in life feels willingly.
Or is there an underlying message that has not yet been revealed to me?