Depression

depression can take people life and made other people cry and depression made u feel like u not wanted or love by it and come and goes and then if they sad u be sad if they mad u be mad. sometime it made u think u hate yourself or kill your self and we don't care about we think why  or how come . we cut our self or think why r we lie to our self or what happen to u or me also the past can take depression and it take whole new levels. they try their best to help u and not work we lie so they don't worried that how depression work and life that i should be gone i don't know why i do or wish for it i just nothing my self and sometime i just be by my self and maybe they don't say stuff and they need to stop control me and let me be maybe that why i don't know sometime i cant control me and i alway want it and  maybe it help me or not everyone i hate need to stay away so it help me not to be or he need to know that i cant be there for him and me too now i know that  he cant be there why us there a point how much i try  i cant do it  who care any more i don't or anybody  u try to not to cry so hard but u cry and cry and u told them it nothing and u want to be alone  😔Hurt my self is hard I try to be happy but at the end I can't I just can I know people r worried but idc as much now my life is not important for me to be. I try not to be be who I am but I can't alway be happy for no reason or had to need help life is a fail for people in the way we feel idk what going to happen or say. Lost people is hard for me it broken my heart I never ready tell people how I feel but Ryan I guess we promise he help me and I love him for that. But I wonder if I am good or I am just worst. I guess it take a lot of gut to be who u r but it never happened in my life every time it the test or about me I fail in my mind I know I can't do that anymore it  hurt ready bad like rose thorny issues can be hard but it not who u r. Idk what am I say but it help not be who u r and just do it depression is hard lot not something maybe because u just don't want to. I guess I let people go in my head and say I will fail everything but how they don't think I can it hard for people think I can't do it or why maybe. Because they need to be quite it hurt like me. I imagine that I be gone from life maybe it better then me on earth. It also best not to be with ur love one and think to leaves I wonder how or when. Hate life hate peoples or ever hate ur self. Why can they understand me that am try but it hurt like hell. And why try everyone don't think I can do it. So ya I think it their fault not my they just made more worst then myself. That how I feel kill myself so it won't hurt go in heaven or hell idc