deepundergroundpoetry.com
Order
It happens precisely at the same time everyday
Mechanical limbs on the maul with mindless purpose
A clockwork of metallic cogs in the harmony of functioning
Gears turn in a melt with satellite time
Siphoning it's belly for the oil to be routed to serrated extremities
The robotic crane executes in a sterile manner of clinical perfection
Yet the invasive clanking
Shattered glass ceiling
Sounds like
Chaos
Published 2nd Jun 2011
| Edited 3rd Jun 2011
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Interesting..
The title \'Order\' is fitting for the smooth clean first 6 lines.. The words \'precisely\', \'mechanical\', \'harmony\', \'melt\', \'routed\' and \'clinical\' tie each line together as neatly as the title.. You then suddenly change direction with \"Yet the invasive clanking \"... I was left wondering where you were going with this until the very last word..
\"Chaos\"
The whole piece is brought back into a sort of order again
That you describe and give real feeling of both polar opposites so efficiently in one short piece is a testament to your abilities as a writer
I have nothing but admiration
The title \'Order\' is fitting for the smooth clean first 6 lines.. The words \'precisely\', \'mechanical\', \'harmony\', \'melt\', \'routed\' and \'clinical\' tie each line together as neatly as the title.. You then suddenly change direction with \"Yet the invasive clanking \"... I was left wondering where you were going with this until the very last word..
\"Chaos\"
The whole piece is brought back into a sort of order again
That you describe and give real feeling of both polar opposites so efficiently in one short piece is a testament to your abilities as a writer
I have nothing but admiration
2nd Jun 2011 9:15pm
