deepundergroundpoetry.com
crossing the center line
It's easy to be a good man when life is easy but when bad things happen at warp speed,
it all slows down.
The skies take a daily shit on your perception of time and you can't keep from checking your wristwatch.
When you start wondering if quantum theory could keep the things you love from dying you find out how strong you are.
It gets harder and harder to stay decent in the face of adversity.
And you'd think by any natural law you have a right to fight back,find a faster home,
but it's more complicated than that.
Who to blame, why and what for blurs.
The bottle,the bag,the vial,him in the other lane,odometer and speed needle,the constant chase of the setting sun,
all run out of answers.
Head west long enough eventually you've ran in circles.
Even contemplate looking up and apologizing.
Just in case there is a god and maybe he could be good.
Wear a tuxedo to your 1st x wife's funeral in an attempt to maintain a sense of humor cuz that has to be the only form of cosmic currency.
This is no cautionary tale or recommendation.
But spend enough time with all those things on the road you've been looking for,
start to miss the empty spaces where you come from.
it all slows down.
The skies take a daily shit on your perception of time and you can't keep from checking your wristwatch.
When you start wondering if quantum theory could keep the things you love from dying you find out how strong you are.
It gets harder and harder to stay decent in the face of adversity.
And you'd think by any natural law you have a right to fight back,find a faster home,
but it's more complicated than that.
Who to blame, why and what for blurs.
The bottle,the bag,the vial,him in the other lane,odometer and speed needle,the constant chase of the setting sun,
all run out of answers.
Head west long enough eventually you've ran in circles.
Even contemplate looking up and apologizing.
Just in case there is a god and maybe he could be good.
Wear a tuxedo to your 1st x wife's funeral in an attempt to maintain a sense of humor cuz that has to be the only form of cosmic currency.
This is no cautionary tale or recommendation.
But spend enough time with all those things on the road you've been looking for,
start to miss the empty spaces where you come from.
Published 15th Jul 2015
| Edited 16th Jul 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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15th Jul 2015 3:42am
those oncoming headlights look like a quick way out, till you remember you'd be taking a stranger w/you, who probably don't wanna go...
15th Jul 2015 5:01am
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but you're always reminded why your gone.
Love your work.
Sounds like a familiar hurt.
Love your work.
Sounds like a familiar hurt.
15th Jul 2015 5:23am
Anonymous
15th Jul 2015 5:58am
the daily tests
so hard to grasp what it is that keeps life simple when the mind can't stop.
a sense of humour being the cosmic currency is maybe one of the best theories I've heard
...I'm clueless too, but this write says so much that I wish I could and can't.
thanks for the write, JR
so hard to grasp what it is that keeps life simple when the mind can't stop.
a sense of humour being the cosmic currency is maybe one of the best theories I've heard
...I'm clueless too, but this write says so much that I wish I could and can't.
thanks for the write, JR
I like that opening concept, where bad things happen at warp speed, it's our perception that the world around us stands still. You manage the to squeeze in a lot of great lines and imagery, dug the tuxedo at the exes and the car scene with the booze, the vial and the guy in the opposite lane. I thought perhaps the last line ended a little flat. You could amp it up a bit with a tweak of dark humour and leave the reader thinking with something like, "but spend too much time on the road driving for those things that you're looking for, and you'll start to miss the dead empty spaces in the back trunk." Just a suggestion, man, it keeps that driving car theme you've maintained thru the piece. Always great to get back to your writing.
roger i get it alex but how do you suggest i convey the concept of coming back like it ain't no thing to change your life direction liesurely and missing nothing(not that i don't miss anything but miss having nothing to miss) with no "ands" or "buts"?
i hate them things and i use them too much....
always appreciate the work involved man................thanx
i hate them things and i use them too much....
always appreciate the work involved man................thanx
15th Jul 2015 11:43pm
What I usually do when I'm stuck or trying to edit a section I'm not totally happy with, I rewrite the lines over and over, (with as many as "ands" and "buts" needed to get the ideas down), until I get into a bit of a flow, making small changes with every version of the lines. It's a process of thrashing it out, rearranging and then cutting back. Something should stand out at the end of the process.
With regards to my dark humour suggestion, you could pull back on the darkness to give it a more positive spin by keeping the trunk metaphor, but introducing something else, another object suggesting how much you don't miss it... or perhaps don't use the trunk idea and make another reference to the ex, and weave something that is both positive and negative, like the lines in that classic Guns & Roses song... "I used to love her, but I had to kill her, I knew I'd miss her, so I had to keep her, so she's buried in my backyard."
With regards to my dark humour suggestion, you could pull back on the darkness to give it a more positive spin by keeping the trunk metaphor, but introducing something else, another object suggesting how much you don't miss it... or perhaps don't use the trunk idea and make another reference to the ex, and weave something that is both positive and negative, like the lines in that classic Guns & Roses song... "I used to love her, but I had to kill her, I knew I'd miss her, so I had to keep her, so she's buried in my backyard."
19th Jul 2015 8:56pm
great title for someone heading west - I liked the lines
But spend enough time with all those things on the road you've been looking for,
start to miss the empty spaces where you come from.
But spend enough time with all those things on the road you've been looking for,
start to miss the empty spaces where you come from.
5th Aug 2015 5:08am
Damn, nobody knows your path like you, brother-from-another-gutter.
This is no cautionary tale or recommendation.
But spend enough time with all those things on the road you've been looking for,
start to miss the empty spaces where you come from.
And the rich soil of that wasteland as well. That's what makes us bloom.
This is no cautionary tale or recommendation.
But spend enough time with all those things on the road you've been looking for,
start to miss the empty spaces where you come from.
And the rich soil of that wasteland as well. That's what makes us bloom.
