Parasites

I feel like a nervous wreck most days
I hit rock bottom but I keep on running
I don't know how long I can continue doing this
I'm trying to find that middle ground between wanting to die and being able to continue to lie
I'm lying to myself because I know what's inside me
It's serious business, it's not something to be dismissed
Sometimes I suppress the anger, and sometimes it turns out fine
But then there are other emotions I have no names for, I can't explain where they came from but I know what they came for
They want my soul, they want to engulf me whole
There's something wrong with me, I know I'm sick
These parasites won't let me live
I try to keep them buried and push them down when they make an appearance but I think it makes them angrier and they come back with vengeance
It gets harder and harder to reject them so I must be getting stronger but I don't know how long they intend to be a bother
And I know I can't do this forever, I just don't know how much longer.