deepundergroundpoetry.com
sanity 5/7/15
And I obsess......."how long do go without feeding", and then ...... "how long can I go til bleeding".
Toxicity seeps down from my brain, beats around my body through my vains.
The image poisens every reflection, making sense of self mutilation.
I wonder how I can change every cell, to help my soul escape from this hell.
All I see is what society loathes, when did I learn to hate what's under my clothes.
To purge feels like my power, controlling every intake by hour.
And I cant sleep, subhuman kicks in, consuming crumbs starts to feel my sin.
All I want is to control, climb out of this hell fucking hole.
What did I do to deserve all of this, You've been taking the fucking piss.
I feel so angry I could fucking pop, I want these feelings to fucking stop.
I love you so much that I hope you go through fucking hell, because I know thats the only way we addicts get well.
And I have I grown and I will continue to flourish, and soon ill eat and learn again to nourish.
And I will cry and I will scream and I'll stay awake, because nothing about me any more is fake.
I was loyal and loving and real, I doubt you have any ability yet to feel.
And one day soon I'll be ok and i will grow, because I love myself more than you could ever know!
Fuck you Kerry!
Toxicity seeps down from my brain, beats around my body through my vains.
The image poisens every reflection, making sense of self mutilation.
I wonder how I can change every cell, to help my soul escape from this hell.
All I see is what society loathes, when did I learn to hate what's under my clothes.
To purge feels like my power, controlling every intake by hour.
And I cant sleep, subhuman kicks in, consuming crumbs starts to feel my sin.
All I want is to control, climb out of this hell fucking hole.
What did I do to deserve all of this, You've been taking the fucking piss.
I feel so angry I could fucking pop, I want these feelings to fucking stop.
I love you so much that I hope you go through fucking hell, because I know thats the only way we addicts get well.
And I have I grown and I will continue to flourish, and soon ill eat and learn again to nourish.
And I will cry and I will scream and I'll stay awake, because nothing about me any more is fake.
I was loyal and loving and real, I doubt you have any ability yet to feel.
And one day soon I'll be ok and i will grow, because I love myself more than you could ever know!
Fuck you Kerry!
Published 8th Jul 2015
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8th Jul 2015 11:41pm
hey, men I don't know if you've been suffering the time you wrote it but I could sense pain while reading reminding me my own hard days,when-all of a sudden inspiration paid me a visit 3 after I stopped using fucking dust..
Hate/love/ignore/rule yourself but you can't ever get rid of him,right?
Hate/love/ignore/rule yourself but you can't ever get rid of him,right?
15th Jul 2015 9:12pm
Hey and thank you. Yes I was definitely suffering when I wrote this. I didnt use though. 2 years 10 months and 1 day clean today. Thanks to my higher power and my sponsor!
