The grim ball drops.  (a collaboration with maikeru555)

 

New years eve 1999


I recall the violent celebrations that went on behind the scenes at new years eve, I was apart of them once 
Flashing lights, and people crowding the streets 
Its a shame no one ever heard my screams... 
It was me against ten other guys 
Pulling my pants down in the cold alley behind Times Square 
One had me pinned against a dumpster while two were going at it 
Ripping my bra off and breathing heavy 
The other guys just stood there laughing and watching... 

What led up to this, was all just innocent fun at the nearby bar
Flirting, and yes me and a friend led them on 
They kept buying us drinks so why not? 
My girlfriend bailed on me after her boyfriend called 
I was alone and scared, but I remember I was probably too drunk to care 
I made an escuse to go and use the bathroom 
When I got out they were waiting there right outside 
They grabbed me and said they were ready to leave... 

I can still smell the stench of alley way 
In the air 
Feel the un shaved beard on my soft skin 
Every new year since then, 
I hide tucked away, I'm scared it will happen again 
It started with one then it all fades dim 
But I remember one grabbing my hair, bending me over and tarring my anal 
I blacked out soon after him 

I woke up full of blood 
In the middle of the alley, my clothes torn to shreds 
No one seen me there, not even the bar keeper, who opened the door and let me in 
He called me a cab,  and said don't return you asked for it ma'am 
Did I? 
I just wanted a drink. I didn't ask to get fucked by ten men on the street 
I didn't mean to tease anyone 
I just wanted attention I hardly got much 
Now I don't even want to be touched 
Not even by my little boy 
The one I can't look at. The one I can't trust 
How could I, he was made from disgust 
But i do hope he turns out like me. 
And not like his father which ever one 
He may be..