whats going on

you say you don't need sympathy, and you also say that you don't want help...and in your mind you believe that it is right that you should help your own self out of the darkness that you are in...but really what is going on in that mind is that you believe that maybe crying out all of your pain and suffering...it wont be there anymore...well you did a good job of lying to your self...I really do applaud you. But just one question self...would you rather suffer in the pain that you in flick on yourself or would you rather just sit there in silence and let that pain run down your face until your good and ready to put back on that act of a good painted smile...self on the inside I cry for you and on the outside I act and smile for you, but when are you going to take the chance and finally let someone know that you need help...oh but let me guess nobody wont listen...right, nobody wont take you seriously right...well with that blank face that you have when expressing your emotions of course...but I remember you told yourself, while being cradle that you would never turn back the clock especially back to this time in your life, where you feel helpless, you need to speak and now is your time because as I am looking at your life your running out of time and once you hit rock bottom there no way of you returning back to the happiness you once had