deepundergroundpoetry.com
Cassava & Sugarcane Child
Before we leave, let me tell you sum.
Sitting at the empty table, she listens.
Holding masala chai, accurate to her skin.
Looking at the teddy bear,
Between my sweaty palms
Tired of all my bullshit.
That’s when I told her,
There is a seed within me.
“Who planted it?” She shouted.
Praying for guidance, I whispered,
“I want this flower”
Silence skimmed her tea.
“We just moved past the concrete,
The soil is dry,
How will you water a flower?”
Mama, I have your green thumb
“Age younger than the year, actin like you been thru the 90’s”
Mama, I’m sorry
Entering highschool
He’s busy learning to
“Uphold The Law”
She never looked at the bear
Or twelve
The same ever again.
Sitting at the empty table, she listens.
Holding masala chai, accurate to her skin.
Looking at the teddy bear,
Between my sweaty palms
Tired of all my bullshit.
That’s when I told her,
There is a seed within me.
“Who planted it?” She shouted.
Praying for guidance, I whispered,
“I want this flower”
Silence skimmed her tea.
“We just moved past the concrete,
The soil is dry,
How will you water a flower?”
Mama, I have your green thumb
“Age younger than the year, actin like you been thru the 90’s”
Mama, I’m sorry
Entering highschool
He’s busy learning to
“Uphold The Law”
She never looked at the bear
Or twelve
The same ever again.
Published 20th Jun 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 3
reads 717
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
30th Sep 2015 5:56am
interesting but once more it needs more punctuation or at least more consistent punctuation. this one i also feel could be fleshed out: the reader is thrown into the middle of something without enough details to grasp the entire situation (or even enough of the situation to be sympathetic) or really know the 'narrator' (idk if this is a personal poem or not lol) or the other characters here, but there is good emotion in this piece, very harsh and honest, and i feel like this could be really excellent with just a touch more work.
1st Oct 2015 6:52am
I was way too scared to put a lot of detail in at first, but please inbox me if you have any more suggestions.
26th Dec 2015 4:32pm
Yeah yeah yeah. The spelling, in certain phrases, it creates a laid back chillin enjoyen read. It's smooth and weaves a flow thru out, from beginning to end. That would cut it off & make it stilted. I would love to have your mad skills. It must be so much fun to let go & have your thoughts flow & be the ink in your pen. The punctuation & spelling so on & so on, cuts the link between thought & pen. Trust me I have that problem & it is sorrysome problem to have. When I write, I'm continually rereading & editing. It cramps a poet's style. Your poetry has personal style character. Your talented mind creates masterpieces. It is continually created & found in all your writing. Don't stilt allow it's natural ebb & flow. I'm a forever fan & that's a fact! Lovin it, SURVIVOR
