The feeling

I'm tired of feeling this way the way that cuts deep.
The way the slides inside my throat the way that learnt to speak. Speak those meaningless words of deep down depressed sorrow. The way my tongue rolls the "R's" when I'm trying to think. The way that I have trapped inside my heart but I can't let it escape. The way that you came into my life randomly, but heartlessly. The way you spoke to me. Those perfect little moments where I thought that for once it would be okay. The feeling of "I can do this" the encouragement you whispered on my lips. The feeling of my dress falling from my shoulders, I never liked dresses but I wore one for you. To make you believe for a few hours I was beautiful. But I didn't need the dress to give you that feeling. the feeling of my heart still beating in your hand. You have it still there. Was that your plan? The feeling I feel can not be described you begged for forgiveness, all I could do was cry. I couldn't let this happen again. I had been hurt to much before. By the hands of my lover, by the hands of you. The feeling of your hands corresponding with my cheeks, slowly fades as the sting of your honest slaps of hatred burn into my soul. I can't do this again. But by the feeling of all feelings I am forced to feel.
I want you back, your hits of hatred and all.. am I wrong? To feel this feeling. Am I wrong..